I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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