what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm like, not good at living.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
