What a fucking waste of an outfit
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
