u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
