I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
How's work?
Spinning.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
