My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
