dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
