i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
