That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
