Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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