I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
