Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
