belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
