if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
