I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
