My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize