fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
