Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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