Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize