I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
