I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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