he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
