In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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