I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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