And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
