Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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