I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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