Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
