the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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