even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please come you make the beer taste better
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
