I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
