I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize