My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
