Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
