i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
