I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Who died my cat blue again?
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