Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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