Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
