he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
