How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
