But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
