i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
