What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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