i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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