ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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