I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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