you have to choose: penises or morals?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize