I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
