I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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