Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
