Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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