STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
