We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
