His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
