I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
