What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he thought i was a dude.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
