I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
there is puke in my bra ... again
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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