I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
