I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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