My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
