Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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